Dear Benedict,
Forgive me for not writing for a few days. I do a thing called retirement though I’m not sure it was a concept in the 6th century, or in monastic communities much at all. In 21st century Britain it’s a somewhat contested concept due to inequalities: some people get more retirement than others. Having been doing it in what I think is a modest way from nearly two years it often includes long distance walking. We have been walking a new route in Derbyshire along the Derwent Valley and that has taken me away from letter writing for a few days.
I’m writing to you about the Prayer of Jesus in morning and evening worship (and at other times too I’m sure) that you mention in chapter 13. You advocate saying it aloud as every word is a pledge or promise by community members to each other. You mention how ‘thorny issues’ may grow up between people and recommend the words ‘Forgive us as we forgive’.
Forgiveness itself is one of the thorny issues of our day. People ask, how do I forgive? Is it enough to say ‘I forgive you’ or is more required? What if you can’t say such words, can’t forgive? For some people it seems a straight forward matter: I forgive you and that’s it? For others it has qualification: I forgive you but I can’t forget. How does that seem? Others say they can neither forgive or forget.
At the beginning of the Rule you said this school for God’s service wouldn’t be harsh or a burden (end of Prologue) but you urged us not to run away from the opportunity for a way of life that might seem narrow to begin with but would be found accommodating enough with perseverance. I think perhaps this issue of forgiveness is one of those heartfelt aspects that is both tough and yet also liberating. In referring to the Jesus Prayer you put forgiveness in context. Jesus was teaching this prayer to his followers: it’s one of our direct links to him. The daily need for forgiveness was to him as vital as bread itself. However, not every loaf is perfect, not every hunger satisfied and not every forgiveness lived out but we have the opportunity to pray for it again tomorrow.
I think of those who carry huge burdens of inequality and I wonder how they can be expected to forgive those who will not equally share bread with them. What of those who bare massive burdens of grief due to the destructive activities of war or other injurious practices: just carrying on in itself may occupy most of life let along forgiveness. Forgiveness for what? Even the church doesn’t get clean away with this one. Such are my distractions from my own forgiveness issues.
Your own world was smaller, although even a few relationships in a community can be complex. Maybe we need to think of starting with our immediate surroundings. I can only start with forgiving those closest to me and hope they do the same. Forgiveness one step at a time, one word at a time, one prayer at a time. How many times might we say these words in a life time? I’ve no idea but we have the opportunity and that could be world changing.
From the remembered gospel: Jesus said ‘Father, forgive them’.
Forgive me. Help me to forgive.
From a Friend of Scholastica and a Member of the Lay Community of St Benedict.