The Church has become a house of pain because our Church is sick with deep forgetfulness of our deepest identity: that we are missionary, that we are a Church “called to come out of itself” …the biblical tradition of lamentation teaches us that denial of our pain and sorrow is not an option. Every biblical lamentation ends in hope: hope for rebirth, hope that the Lord’s love has not been exhausted.
From Divine Renovation by Fr James Mallon
Calling One, has your love been exhausted?
Mine has, in so many ways and places.
I only seem to have a little left
and in itself that is painful to me,
when I remember all the love filled times and places
and compare them with this pitiful situation.
I am sad, and have been for some time:
Sad enough to be sick, and sick of sadness,
But unable to leave sadness behind.
I have left the church of my youth behind me:
I opened the doors and stepped outside.
Although I was called ‘a breath of fresh air’
I heard the door bang shut behind me.
I am exhausted from lamenting all of this:
My love has poured out onto hard ground,
Soaked into the parched cracks and is gone.
It is not just my eyes that weep,
but every part of me feels heavy;
my guts twist and turn, my back aches from the load.
How I wish I could put down this sorrow and leave this pain behind.
As I go out each morning, ready for each new encounter
I know I am fortunate to meet those who yearn to know you.
A child comes running towards me,
A youth begins a conversation
And each time my heart takes a joyful jump.
When we sing together or remember the stories,
Then my heart glows warm again.
Calling One, your love has not been exhausted;
I rejoice that it is new every morning.
In our life and our believing
The Love of God
(The initial quote is one of the daily quotes I receive as a Seeker in the Lay Community of St Benedict)
JAL:17.05.2017